Monday, December 17, 2007

What sacrifice?

'Tis the season for difficult questions. I'd not normally be all "religion-talk" on anyone, but it's been shoved in my face since the first part of November, so I feel justified in taking it on at this time. This has more to do with Easter, anyway.

I've been told time and again by those who would save me from myself, that the lawd SACRIFICED his only son to save me from eternal damnation and let me live forever. John 3:16! John 3:16!

From MY reading of the gospels, the story goes something like this:

Jesus, the son of the christian god, was killed by crucifixion on a Friday (according to the church calendars, the Friday prior to the first Sunday after the first full moon after the vernal equinox - Full moons? Vernal Equinoxes? Doesn't sound very christian, but we can get into that another time). Bright and early the following Sunday, he was found to have risen from his grave and showed himself to some of his disciples (including Mary Magdalene, which makes one wonder why women have such a poor image in the christian church, but we can get into that another time, too, and NO, I don't believe The DaVinci Code is non-fiction). After he had shown himself to several of his disciples, he rose into the sky to sit at the right hand of the christian god, his dad. He sits there to this day.

My question is, "What exactly is the christian god's sacrifice?"

His so-called son suffered for a time before he died, and perhaps his dad wept and wailed during his travails. To get the maximum wailing, let's say he was nailed to the cross at 6am (doubtful - who would have turned out that early to see the parade? It wasn't like there would be limited parking.). However, according to further calculations, and let's say he died at noon that Friday and rose at 8am the following Sunday, just to give him a little more down-time, dad was without his son for approximately 44 hours. And this was while dad was constantly aware that his fair-haired boy would not be permanently separated from him at all, but would be knocking at the pearly gates quite soon.

Traditionally, a sacrifice means to give something up permanently. "A forfeiture of something highly valued," according to Yahoo's dictionary. Forfeiture, IMO, means more than giving something up for 44 hours, knowing you'll get it back in perfect working order. Good grief, even Abraham knew that when he (almost - "Just kidding! LOL!" said god) sacrificed Isaac, he wasn't EVER getting him back.

A little help? Please?

Just in time for xmas!

Last week, during my daily "keep-from-doing-productive-things" quest for non-mainstream information and other radical notions, the surfing of my favorite blogs and forums, I ran across a comment that was new to me, but obviously not to others:

The "H" in "Jesus H. Christ!!!", I now know, stands for HAPLOID. Haploid is a scientific term used to describe cells containing one member of each homologous pair of chromosomes.

When I read this, it was all I could do to keep my monitor clean and dry while remaining upright in my chair. I mean, it makes perfect sense! Since (I assume) the christian god did not physically have sex with the Mary of the story, Jesus' cells would contain only half of the normal complement of chromosomes. I also assume "he" would only have X chromosomes, which makes one want to ascertain whether "he" was actually "she."

After some further surfing, I found that I was simply behind the times, as this is all over teh intarwebs. See for yourself!

Anyway, as an armchair science lover, I suspect there are more than one problem with this in real life, but superficially, it makes sense and it's funny, too! What more can one ask for?