Stouffer's Thinks You're Stupid!

Well, I can't find a video of the recent Stouffer's Lasagna ad, in which a family which has made changes in its lifestyle is forced to have Stouffer's frozen lasagna for supper instead of eating out all the time (apparently). In this ad, the voice-over claims with great enthusiasm that Stouffer's Lasagna is made of, get this, "REAL INGREDIENTS!"

Is this their selling point? Wait, what? My kids made a mud-pie recently, and it, too, was made of REAL INGREDIENTS! Did that make it edible? I think not. I cooked up a copper sulfate crystal in my high school chemistry class many years ago and it was also made of REAL INGREDIENTS! I still didn't eat it, and would not recommend that anyone do so.*

Can someone at Stouffer's please define UNREAL ingredients for me? I really would like to know what that means. My mind conjures up visions of me trying to serve up to my family the tea and crumpets The Princess served at her most recent tea party. These treats actually were made of unreal ingredients and because of that, they DIDN'T ACTUALLY EXIST, except in our imaginations. Surely Stouffer's is not insinuating that parents are serving imaginary foods to their families? Or maybe they just think we're stupid.

Perhaps some ad exec working for Stouffer's is a closet solipsist - unless the ingredients are right there in front of him or her, they don't exist! But that won't work, either, since the ad exec cannot possibly be present each time a parent serves Stouffer's frozen lasagna, so all lasagnas, excluding the one on the exec's plate, would be made of UNREAL INGREDIENTS, and would not exist.

It appears Stouffer's thinks we're stupid.

I seem to be writing lots of posts about crap I see in ads lately. Sorry. Apparently my sensitivity level to ridiculous and stupid garbage is set pretty low right now.

* - in that same chemistry class, we followed a set of directions for an experiment that led to delicious, delicious peanut brittle (such and such grams of sucrose, such and such grams of "protein pellets", such and such level of heat for such and such amount of time, etc.), which we DID eat, and were graded on its consistency and flavor. Also, summer school for chemistry, until the board of directors put the kibosh on it, included an experiment that led to BEER (yes, it was a LONG time ago). Cooking IS chemistry! And everything is made of REAL INGREDIENTS!

HFCS Skepticism - New Data!

I've been a skeptic of the idea that high-fructose corn syrup was any worse than regular sugar (sucrose) in regard to weight gain and metabolism. The recent ads from the Corn Refiners Assn were okay by me. Here's one example:
HFCS Ad #1

New data, however, has come out from Princeton University. In this article, researchers find that HFCS does indeed affect metabolism in such a way as to increase weight gain and blood-borne triglycerides more than the exact same caloric amounts of sucrose.

Interesting! And a great example of why a skeptic must always be ready to change his/her mind in the face of evidence. I bow to the Princeton scientists who performed this research, and will change my view appropriately. At least until additional evidence of HFCS's safety or evidence of bad data or methods in Princeton's study are presented.

Domino's Thinks You're Stupid

Domino's Pizza's latest commercial shows us just how stupid advertising grunts think we all are.

Puffery, the spokesactorpizzaman says, is exaggeration of opinion, not fact. Papa John's claim of pizza flavor superiority, he says, is just puffery. Domino's pizza flavor superiority, on the other hand, he says, is based on FACT.

His data for this FACT? A graph showing the results of a taste test showing that people prefer Domino's Pizza, overwhelmingly, he says, over Papa John's and Pizza Hut's!

What is the best cheese? Cheddar? Provolone? A nice ripe Brie? You say Cheddar is the best cheese? Okay, what data did you use to determine that? What? It's your OPINION? What? Your sister thinks Brie is best? Your dad likes a stinky Camembert? So, then, what's the best cheese? Come on! Come on! Just the facts, ma'am!

No puffery over at Domino's, though! Really? Since when is taste-testing anything other than recording the OPINIONS of various individuals in a group of individuals who tried the product?

In regard to the test: Restaurant News reports that an independent company tested Domino's new recipe pizza with 1800 people in 8 nationwide markets. The numbers do show that at least 58% and as much as 67.5% of people asked said that they preferred Domino's pizza over Papa John's or Pizza Hut's in each case.* Pretty good, but hardly overwhelming. Variation among restaurants could raise those numbers through the roof or drop them to zero from one day to the next. Nonetheless, all of these pretty numbers are still based on OPINION, not fact. A bit of puffery on Domino's part, perhaps?

A very unscientific taste test reports that the overall opinion (and it's still just an opinion, people, not a FACT) of tasters was, "Meh, cheap pizza is cheap pizza."

Domino's thinks you're too stupid to see through their puffery.



*58% of those asked said they preferred Domino's sausage pizza over Pizza Hut's. Domino's pepperoni took the highest prize, with 67.5% of tasters preferring it to Pizza Hut's. For other numbers, see the article.

Do You Pay To Advertise For Others?

When I was a teenager, I wanted, wanted, wanted a pair of Guess Jeans (dating myself much?). I did end up getting a pair, but not until my extremely fashion conscious mom outgrew her old pair. Other than that, having grown up when I did and where I did, I never paid too much attention to trends, labels, and other crap. While my teammates were buying the most expensive and trendy sports shoes for volleyball, I always went to Kenney Shoes (sadly, Kenney Shoes is long gone) for their cheap NBAs, because they were comfortable and stuck to the court when I needed them to. I wore holey jeans, but only after they had developed holes on their own. I didn't want shirts with a little polo dude or an alligator on them.

I was always more into comfort than trendiness, and I still am. I'd be a great person to put on that show where family members turn in mom for wearing frumpy stuff all the time. But the women who get wardrobe makeovers always look fashionable but uncomfortable at the end. Sometimes, even the men end up looking uncomfortable, but not as often since men's clothing, except for neckties, is not deliberately designed to be UNcomfortable like lots of women's fashions.

Now that I have kids, it seems important to me to instill skepticism into them in regard to pop culture and the advertisement industry, and to make sure they know that they don't have to wear things that look fashionable, but are itchy, pokey, or cut off the circulation to their legs. I refuse to buy them clothes with visible corporate logos. I am careful to call products what they are instead of using trademarked product labels, e.g. tissues instead of Kleenex, swabs instead of Q-tips, etc.

I believe that if I wear a t-shirt with Coca-Cola's logo, the Coca-Cola company should pay ME, not the other way around. Anyone wearing a Coke shirt should be able to get free Cokes that day. I've explained that to my kids, and they seem to understand. I hope so, anyway. So far, they have shown no interest in trendy fashions, and in fact, they often have trouble just picking out tops and bottoms that don't mix stripes and plaids or orange and green, so I'm hoping for the best. They're only 8 though, so the tough years are still ahead.

Do you wear corporate logo clothing? If so, you might think about the fact that you actually PAID money to provide FREE advertising for that corporation. Even if you really, really, really like their product, perhaps you should start sending them an invoice every month requesting reimbursement based on how long you wore the clothing and how many people saw it. Doesn't seem unreasonable to me!

Maleficent's Consumer Report: The Diva Cup

When we were preparing to move to Israel, one of the things people told us was that paper products are expensive and not what we are used to in the States. Now, while I am a Charmin and Bounty woman (who doesn't like squeezable softness on one's hiney or the joys of the "quicker picker-upper"?), I have been conscientiously trying to limit the use of paper products in general around the house. This is made more difficult by Nigel's upbringing in Wisconsin, where paper reigns supreme and half of any town was employed by some paper mill during his childhood. He just HAS to have his paper products. Still, I figured that if I kept my own and the kids' use to a minimum, we could make a small difference. My determination may have something to do with the fact that I did use disposable diapers when the kids were babies and I'm still experiencing a bit of guilt. Our diapers (triplets times at least 6 changes per 24 hr. period) probably made a land-fill of their own.

Now, on to the products in question: Feminine hygiene products; pads and poons; plugs and mattresses. I have always hated pads. Bulky, uncomfortable, smelly, no matter how "soft" the cover, no matter how frequent the change, no matter how mom-ish the pants, pads have been my bane. They are also hard to transport without taking up needed room in the tiny purse, and all purses end up being too tiny, no matter how big they actually are. Like George Carlin's "Stuff," things just multiply until there is no more room. Poons (a euphemism stolen from my best friend from high school, along with the name "Charlie" for our periods, as in "Aw, crap, Charlie's here for the week!" or "Chuck got to my house yesterday.") are much better, but still a pain to transport without getting purse-dirt all over them when the packages open. Subject for another post: my first tampon use, complete with lesson from above-mentioned friend, in a "not for customers' use" bathroom, on Bourbon Street, during a choir trip to New Orleans my sophomore year of H.S. Good times!

At any rate, someone on a forum I frequent had mentioned a Diva Cup in response to a complaint from another forum member. In researching this interesting item, I found that there is also a Moon Cup, which is very similar. I chose the Diva Cup because of its availability in an actual store, so I didn't have to mail order.

TESTIMONIAL: I love this thing. I've been using it for four cycles now, and I can say that I do not ever want to go back to sticking paper inside me or in my underwear.

That said, this product is not for everyone. It does put you in close contact with your menstrual blood, and it takes some practice and some getting used to. It took me a cycle and a half to get the hang of insertion and removal, but I only made a mess one time, so not that big a deal. The sight of blood doesn't bother me, unless I can see tendons or bones through it, so that wasn't a problem either. I don't have any issues with having to put my fingers into my vagina to adjust things if necessary, so no problem there.

There are only two sizes of Diva Cups. The small size is recommended for women under 30 who have never given birth. The large size is for women over 30 OR women who have given birth. According to this formula, I should be a size large. However, I find that the large size is a bit too large for me, even though I am both over 30 AND have given birth. When I replace my cup, I will be getting the small size to try. Their reasoning for my use of the large size is that vaginal muscles get looser with age and with childbirth, and my hips are wider than they were prior to childbirth and maturity (physical maturity, that is!). Still, I have done my Kegel's, and I am a very small person to start with, so I don't think these rules apply to me.

I highly recommend this product. Here are a couple of helpful hints for beginners if you should choose to buy a Diva Cup:

1) When you are first learning to use the cup, run your finger around it after insertion to be sure it is all the way open. I found that when mine was new, it sometimes remained partially folded, causing leaks. I could correct this by gently pulling it down until it fully opened up and then gently pushing it back into place.

2) When you are first learning to use the cup, be sure you are gentle when removing it and that you are holding it upright. My first removal was a little too quick and that's when I made the mess.

If I remember correctly, my Diva Cup cost me $35.00. This is pretty pricey, considering my flow is not too heavy and I didn't go through poons like more heavy-flow women do. Still, I like it so much better than other products, and I will no longer be contributing used pads and poons to the landfill, so I think it is worth it.